One Day at a Time

Well, Ella's MRI results that we waited for yesterday didn't reveal anything that would start to put this puzzle together. There are still more test results to come in the weeks ahead and from what Steph & Zach have told me much of Ella's progress will be monitored in her first few years of life at major milestones and check ups to see how she is developing. She is just too young now.... sweet little thing. I LOVE this picture of her below.

Just about an hour ago, Stephanie text me great news... she got to hold Miss Ella! Since the insertion of the feeding tube, breathing tube & medication IV, her mom and dad haven't been able to hold her. They can only love on her while she lay in the nursery bassinet. So VERY exciting that she got to be in her momma's arms! In fact, last night when Ella was fed Stephanie's milk, Zach said Ella was breathing on her own for almost an entire hour! Stronger and stronger with each day. We are celebrating all the little wins. Thank you for your prayers... they are being felt.

Steph & Zach will be discharged tomorrow morning and it breaks my heart that little Ella wont be able to come home with them just yet. She has some more progress to make before she will be released and the Clark family can all be together at home. There is no speculating how many more days or weeks, so taking it one day at a time.

With everything going on with our family, I decided to start my vacation and leave a few days early this week. It's been nice to not have to deal with the stress of work. I have spent the last few days occupying my mind with silly errands, house chores, walks and resting. I think it's better for our baby if his mom isn't worn out both emotionally and physically day in and day out right before his arrival. I can tell that things are happening in my body getting ready for his birth and I am hoping for a birthday spent in the hospital...words I never thought would come out of my mouth :) But, I am at peace with the fact that there is a plan for his birth - and he will come when he is supposed to.

Thank you again for all your love, support and prayers. I know that Steph, Zach and little Ella appreciate it so much.

Auntie Em & Uncle Nick!

Nick and I are thrilled to announce that we are an Aunt & Uncle! Our beautiful niece, Ella Rose Clark, made her grand entrance into the world on Monday morning, September 26th.

While the first 24 hours of life were stressful and terrifying, our little niece is proving to be one tough cookie! To say this has been an emotional few days would be an understatement.

It all started with a text from Steph around 3am our time that her water broke and they were headed to the hospital. I was too excited to go back to sleep and with this pregnancy insomnia, I decided to get up and watch all the garbage TV I had on DVR until the sun came up. Meanwhile, Steph was texting me updates all morning long... the labor was progressing very fast and without complications. Miss Ella was eager to finally make her debut. By 6:30am, Ella's head was in 0 position, Steph was dilated to 4cm. I figured we would hear about her birth around lunchtime.

I am not sure if it was exhaustion, pregnancy hormones, or just pure jealousy (which I hate to admit), but I completely lost it. I was so excited for Steph & Zach, but so upset that our baby boy has decided it's still not time to meet his parents as well. Of all my friends and family due 2 weeks ahead of me or 2 weeks behind me, EVERYONE with the exception of my cousin's wife (Megan - I am thinking about you today on your due date!) has had their baby.

Anyway, I threw myself a little (ok, maybe a big) pity party. I fought back tears on the way into my weekly doctor's appointment, where she proceeded to tell me that I had made zero progress and that I should now schedule my 40 week appointment for Monday and if I make it to that, another appointment on Friday before an induction on the 9th or 10th. I called my mom on the way to work and broke down.

Once I calmed down, I went into the office for the distraction and decided to focus on the positive ... my niece's birthday.  One of Nick's family members made mention that Ella was here, but we had yet to hear any word. Nick was frantically calling his parents and sending texts to get more information. I got a sinking feeling.

Around 10:30am Nick got a hold of his dad and yes, Ella was here, but she is in NICU. Ella was born via c-section as Steph wasn't dilating fast enough and she was showing fetal distress. Just minutes after her arrival, Ella started to have a seizure. She was taken from her momma and rushed into the NICU. Shortly after, Ella and Zach were put into an ambulance and rushed to OHSU to meet with a specialist immediately. After 10 months of waiting to meet Ella, Steph was left behind and told that something was wrong with her daughter. I broke again and started to pray.

After what seemed like several hours while Nick and I stared at our phones waiting on pins and needles for some information and updates, Stephanie was transferred to OHSU as well and Ella was undergoing test after test after test. She was taken from Steph & Zach so fast, they didn't even have time to measure or weigh her - or even look at her. Heartbreaking. Late Monday night we finally heard from Terri & Jim... there wasn't much to report as the test results weren't back yet and there were more specialists and tests to come. I have never wanted to get on a plane as badly as I did that day - just to be with our family, especially Steph.

Yesterday late afternoon, we finally started to get some good news on the little lady. While Ella was still medicated, her blood work, genetics testing and reflex tests all came back normal! And, no seizures yesterday! We still are praying for good results from the EEG, ultrasound and MRI as those come today. Ella got a feeding & breathing tube put in to help assist her as she is struggling a bit on her own. However, Stephanie & Zach are such proud parents! Ella got a nurses award on her bassinet for how well she did with the MRI. And I figure, as her aunt, I have bragging rights too! :) My niece may be little (approx 5.5 lbs & 16 inches long), but she is one big fighter. Looks can be deceiving...she is definitely her mother's daughter for those of you that know Steph.

We are still saying our prayers for her health and recovery, and from what we hear she is getting stronger and stronger everyday. Steph has told me she has become a 'pumping professional' and also is recovering from her c-section like a champ. We are so proud of all 3 of them. Stephanie & Zach are just looking for all the pieces to the puzzle so they can start focusing on the treatment and not what could be. We pray that the test results and doctor's meetings today start to fill in some of these holes.

It's taken a couple of days, but are finally celebrating Ella's birth. She is here! Nick and I are so excited to meet her, hold her and love on her. Please say a couple extra prayers for my little niece today as we wait for more updates. Welcome baby girl to the big world!!! We love you, Auntie Em & Uncle Nick

Pretending Not To Be Waiting

38 weeks... getting big! I went to the doctor Monday... and progress! 50% effaced and dilated just a bit more at 1 1/2 cms. I can tell Baby Monty is prepping to make his arrival, things are definitely happening with my body. So anxious! The suspense is killing me.

Just a couple of pictures from the Plainfield Midwest Brewers Fest (Nick enjoyed this thoroughly!) Beautiful location and much, much different than the Portland Brew Fest - as in this festival was mellow, and filled with well-behaved adults vs. drunken idiots! :)

Work is starting to slow down and now we are just waiting, but pretending not to be waiting. 6 days left in the office, then I am officially 'on leave'. Feels so strange to detach myself for 3 1/2 - 4 months, but I am very much looking forward to the break and being with our baby boy and my husband without any distractions! We are ready to meet you any time you are, little guy!

TGIF

For the last few weeks and for the remaining weeks I have left of work this year, I am indulging in being a lady of leisure!

I have so much vacation built up from my last 6 1/2 years and with the Razorfish vacation policy changing I now 'have to' work  3 or 4 day weeks to get my PTO down as I will continue to accrue while out on leave. I found out in August that I had reached the maximum of 200 hours and must use days in order to keep earning more. I am not feeling sorry for myself at all for this mandate! :)

So my Fridays consist of watching the entire Today Show (I love), an Emily splurge (mani/pedi, massage, etc), a workout, a nap, errands, an organization/nesting activity and taking the time to make a new recipe for dinner. TGIF has a whole new meaning to me these days.

I Should Stop Googling

I really should stop googling every little thing to see IF it MAYBE is a sign that labor is near! I am driving myself crazy.

Not much to update on in terms of progress... baby's head is still down and dropping, still dilated 1cm and apparently I lost 2 lbs this week (which is beyond me given what the amount of food I have been consuming).

With just over 19 days left until my due date, a 12-inch expanded waistline and an additional 25lbs on my frame I am trying to keep busy and entertained. I have been walking at least an hour a day hopefully to walk him out! But, I know, that he will make his appearance when he is good and ready for us to meet him. It's just about time to evict this kid... rent is no longer going to be an option!

Baby Boy Taking After His Father...

We had our growth ultrasound yesterday and the first of my weekly OB appointments. The technician wasn't able to get a profile shot of our son because his hands were covering his face. As his auntie Steph said, he must be planning on 'surprising us with his good looks in a few weeks'. He is healthy, head down and in the right position. Everything is looking good.

After the ultrasound, the doctor came in and gave us the news... he is approximately 7lbs already! I am still in disbelief. I was SHOCKED that he is already that big. At this rate, given the doc is positive I am going to see my due date come and go, we may have a 9lb baby boy. I know, I know, its just an estimate, but given that Nick was a teeny tiny 9lb 6oz baby, this is a very real possibility. Trying not to stress about it, but still in disbelief and a bit consumed by the thought (fear) of pushing out a 9lb child.

I am dilated only 1 cm and other than the usual and Braxton Hicks nothing new to report. We are keeping busy and enjoying as much together time as possible for the next month. Oh and a shout out to my awesome husband... Nick got an A+ from the Chicago Child Safety Department on his installation of the car seat! Just need to pack up our hospital bags, and we are pretty much ready to go.

35 weeks in the picture below

You Know You Are Pregnant When....

• You ask your husband if he wants pancakes as an 'appetizer' when you have already ordered a full meal for brunch
• You cry because you can't stop crying
• Drive 45 minutes to go to Benihana because nothing else sounds good
• You rediscover the joy of Oreo cookies
• You have memorized all the bathroom locations within a 1 mile radius
• You can smell someones morning breath on the bus commute
• Your husband tells you (for the first time in your life) the house is freezing when you think it's still unbearably hot at 66 degrees
• You consider Babies R Us & Target runs as 'weekend activities'
• You ask your husband to run upstairs to make sure the hair straightener is off because you can't remember if you used it 2 minutes ago
• Lettuce tastes like dirt
• You bitterly stare at the fat people that don't offer you their seat on the bus/train

All jokes aside, you know your pregnant when despite of all the crazy cravings, emotions, worries, fears, dreams and physical ailments of pregnancy, you would not give it up for anything else in the world because you already love this little baby boy more than anything.