4 Months

My sweet Jake,

You are so happy and smiley, and such a snuggle bug... and one growing boy! You have graduated to size 3 diapers and 6 – 9 month clothing. You are one long bean!

You love when your daddy smiles at you and makes funny faces. Your face lights up when he plays with you and tickles your belly. I think bath time is your favorite part of the day (other than when mommy or daddy come home from work, of course). You love the warm water and most importantly…. being naked! I think you would sit in there until you pruned up if we let you.

Your activity mat, mobile and your red ball are your favorite toys. And, you have recently discovered your feet…. those taste pretty good too. You like to pull your feet up to your mouth and are getting pretty close to rolling over. You make it about halfway before rock back to the direction you started. You are so strong and have incredible head control and are trying really hard to sit up on your own… although you aren’t quite able to yet. You are a drooling mess and love to blow bubbles and make funny noises with your mouth when you are talking to mom and dad or Lyla. You giggle and laugh and talk, talk, talk.

Bedtime is no longer a battle. We are so proud of you - you put yourself to sleep after story time in less than 5 minutes in your own room, but are still waking up 1 – 2 times for a late night date with mommy. I love this time with you (even though I need extra coffee in the morning because of it).

We love you so much, you amaze us every single day. No feeling I’ve had in the past can anywhere near match how I feel about you. You are the best thing I have ever done. I have everything I ever could want in life now that we have you. I feel so blessed. I love you, sweet boy. Happy 4 months, Jacob William.

Mama loves you.

Pumping & Planes

As I prepare for my first business trip this week, I am calling the airlines to see if they have a plug for my use on the plane to pump. Ha. This is a call I never dreamed of making... should make for an interesting 24 hours of scrambling to find places to be somewhat discrete.

Where am I headed you ask? Portland... but an entire day of meetings, so I haven't reached out as I won't have any free time. Big, huge bummer.

I am confident I am going to have some interesting stories of how this will go ... travelling with breast milk, pumping in an airport terminal with my hooter hider, or in the bathroom of the plane. Glorious.

I'll just look at my little lover's face and remind myself why I am crammed in a dirty airport bathroom...

Did Jake Just Giggle?!

A little video from the other night of my conversation with Jake.... and I may have captured a giggle! You decide.

(P.S. I am looking at the camera, trying to make sure that while holding my phone out to record its actually on his face)

Adjusting to Life

Well I am a working mom now. It’s strange and familiar at the same time.

I miss my baby and his sweet face and chubby legs all day every day. I can’t wait for the part of the day where I get to leave and make my way home to him. And that brief time together is the best part time of my day. Ah, I miss him terribly.

I must say that my office job is much easier than my stay-at-home job was, but maybe that is because I have never raised a human before and I have written strategy decks, conducted meetings and presented for clients for years now. Who knows. But we are taking one day at a time and just learning to adjust to life.

Given neither Nick or I had working moms when we were young, I have horrible fears that Jake will forget me and start to prefer Beth (the nanny) over Momma, but I just have to keep telling myself that can never be the case. Because, truthfully, I do want him to love being with Beth too, but I want him to love being with me more. I sound crazy and selfish and guilt-ridden, I know. Again, one day at a time….

With one week under my belt, I can say that weekends with my husband, son and doggy have a whole new meaning. We just hang out together without any plans and it’s perfection! I am so in love with my little family.

Also since my last post, it has been determined that Jake has a dairy & soy sensitivity/allergy. AKA, I must cut out ALL dairy and ALL soy. Ok, dairy isn’t that big of a deal since I have been doing it for 8 years now… however, soy is in EVERYTHING! I am trying not to focus on what I cannot eat, but on what I can (not much). I haven’t taken it as far as to cut out bread (made with soybean oil) or salad dressings (also made with soy lecithin), as I am seeing if Jake can handle just traces of soy. We went to Whole Foods and I bought whatever food seemed appealing that was dairy free, soy free, vegan, gluten free and basically taste free (ok, I am exaggerating a bit), but so far so good. Jake has been a different baby. So happy, content and comfortable. I feel so badly that he was feeling horrible for the first 3 months of his life. I just wish the doctor had suggested testing him earlier…

So, we have one more diaper test on the 30^th. And, once everything is doubly confirmed, I will have to start the heartbreaking task of donating my freezer full of breast milk. Kills me. As for now, I pump 3 times a day at work to keep up with how much Jake is taking in (15oz while with Beth) and then exclusively nursing him morning/evenings/weekends. I have no stockpile anymore which really bums me out and doesn’t provide much flexibility. In addition, the formula that Jake could have should I want/need to introduce it is SO MUCH money and most kids don’t even like the taste. I am going to try to get some free samples from the doctor before dropping that amount of cash on something that he may never even take down. However, we are so relieved we finally found the culprits. I wasn’t making it up… Jake had Colic. And for those of you who have never experienced Colic – to say it is stressful and challenging is an understatement. But, we are on the other side now and it’s been so wonderful to see more smiles than tears from our little boy.

Breastfeeding is Hard

So finally, an answer.... we went to the doctor earlier this week because the fussiness/crying just hasn't let up and I was at a loss. The pediatrician asked me to bring in a stool sample to test to make sure there wasn't something else going on and gave me a bunch of tips to help keep our sanity.

Anyway, Jake tested positive for a milk protein sensitivity. As most of you know, I can't eat dairy anyway, with the exception of Parmesan cheese and dark chocolate (for some reason these things don't bother me). However, his doctor has now asked that I cut out any and all dairy, even my beloved dark chocolate, AND all soy products. Truly, his mother's child! In addition, I have been cutting out caffeine to see if that helps as well. I, of course, will do anything to make my baby feel better, but man this is gonna be rough. Thank goodness there is still wine. Ha.

I am waiting for a call back from his doctor on what I should do with the 150+ ounces of breast milk I have stored up in the freezer for my return to work on Tuesday. Ugh, devastating. I hope I don't have to throw out all that liquid gold.

Anyway, it could be much worse. He is healthy and gaining weight just fine (topping the scales at 15lbs 9oz to be exact). And, I will to do anything in my power for my son, but wow! Breastfeeding is hard!!

And ... 4th Trimester Complete!

We all survived the first 12 weeks!

 Tummy Time

  Hi Mom. I love the bright light of the phone....

but not as much as sucking on my hands.

Happy 12 weeks baby boy! We love you soooo very much.



Aren't Babies Supposed to Nap?!

Once again, I have been absent to the blog world. As well as the phone call world, email, IM, text messages, etc. Apologies. After all the books I read before having a baby, I had no idea what my days would be like! Not sure you ever really do until it's your turn. I love the time at home with my son though.
My sweet boy, I love you more than words, but you do not nap!!! Nick and I have been going crazy trying to get this child to sleep during the day. I thought when I had a newborn that I would have at least a few hours a day where he was sleeping to pay bills, catch up on email, scan Facebook, etc - not this child.

After reading pretty much every sleep book out there and testing out any and all advice, I have had come to the realization that I just don't have the textbook child. Jake is an amazing night sleeper, sleeps 12 hours a night with only one feeding around 2 or 3am, so I can't complain too much, but the days are VERY busy given I can hardly set him down to eat a meal or go the bathroom.

And, although it took me awhile to come to terms with it, Jake is colicky. Our pediatrician said so at his one month appointment, but I was in denial. We are finally down to about 1 - 1 1/2 hours a day of crying which is more normal and much more manageable than the 4+ hours we had before. Insane and so difficult on some days.

I am very busy trying to keep him from crying so we rotate through toys until he is bored, walk outside, drive around in the car, run stupid errands to get out of the house, etc. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Depends on the day.

So after driving almost all the way up to Wisconsin to keep him asleep in the car, walking until my feet ache with him in the ergo pack, rocking and rocking and rocking, nursing him, running the vacuum for noise, singing and reading stories, I have come to the conclusion that Jake just doesn't nap like the other babies. So working on this schedule now...

6am: Good morning!

6am - 7:30am: Playtime

7:30am: Nap #1 (20 - 30 mins... Emily gets dressed for the day and finishes a cup of coffee)

8am - 10am: Playtime, drive to gym for my workout, and Jake plays in the newborn room

9am or 9:30am: Mom works out for an hour - 'Emily Time'. I am addicted to my classes at Equinox and Dailey Method

10am or 10:30am: Nap #2 (20 - 30 mins on the drive home from the gym with a couple mins to spare for me to make a bite to eat)

10:30am - 12pm: Playtime!

12pm or 12:30pm: Nap #3 (20 mins to 2 hours, most often 20 mins. Depending on how much time I have, I check email, pay bills, shower, do laundry, write thank yous, blog posts, return a phone call, etc)

Sometime between 1pm and 2:30pm Jake wakes and we play again

3pm to 4:30pm: I desperately try for another short nap if his other 3 were all 20 mins

Then, we play again until bath time....

5:30pm: Bath time (he loves loves loves the bath)

6ish: Nick gets home from work

6:30pm: Lights out for Jake

And then I pour myself a glass of wine and Nick and I eat dinner and catch up on the day before going to bed ourselves by 9pm, or Nick meets with his tutor as he continues to study for the GMAT.

My goodness.... some days I so envy the moms that have the great napping children so they can count on a couple of hours to actually start a task and complete it. I know I have a busy boy on my hands and he is just terrified he is going to miss out on a minute of fun, so he fights sleep like no tomorrow. This is totally going to the child that always says 'I am not tired, mom' even though his eyes are red and puffy from playing so hard during the day. Beth, the nanny, is in for it when she takes over on the 17th of January. Although, I'd take this challenge on any day.

Some photos of my little love bug from December (catching up from the holidays).

 Zoo Lights at Lincoln Park, although we were there for maybe 15 minutes. Jake wasn't into it.

 Christmas Eve after Mass with Mom

 In Jake's Christmas PJ's with Dad before bedtime

 The Montgomery Family stockings

 Christmas Morning! Santa came (and Jake slept until 7:30am!)

 Merry Christmas

 Santa's Little Helper

Shopping in the city

 Little boy is in there...