For Our Tiny Angel

Tiny Angels

Tiny Angels rest your wings
sit with me for awhile.

How I long to hold your hand,
And see your tender smile.

Tiny Angel, look at me,
I want this image clear....

That I will forget your precious face
Is my biggest fear.

Tiny Angel can you tell me,
Why you have gone away?

You weren't here for very long....
Why is it, you couldn't stay?

Tiny Angel shook her head,
"These things I do not know....
But I do know that you love me,
And that I love you so".

Dear Ella,

While we never got to meet you in person, we know you so well and love you so very much. On September 26^th we became an aunt and an uncle for the first time! We will never forget the excitement of that day! You were born to the most fun loving and amazing parents who love you more than words.

While you may be gone little one, you will always be present. It’s like a branch from our family tree was ripped off. Without it we are lopsided and off balance. No one else will ever be our first niece, the first grandchild and your parents first love. Our hearts are broken, but we know that you soul is watching over us every moment of every day.

Please look after your parents and help to heal their hearts. They miss you so much, sweet girl. You are a gift. Now that we have been forced to give you up, we promise to make sure your little life is loved, honored and your presence is always known and felt in our family forever. Ella means bright light or torch. Ella, you will always be our light.  

Keep dancing like little girls do, up in Heaven, healthy and strong. Make sure you show the others how to do the air electric guitar move like your momma. We miss you and love you so much.

Love always,

Auntie Em & Uncle Nick

Home Alone

Well, Jake & I survived our first day completely alone yesterday... barely.

Nick had to leave the house at 4:30am to catch a flight to Newark for the day. From the minute the little guy woke up (4:30am), he was out of sorts and very fussy, which unfortunately lasted all day until he fell asleep for the night around 10:30pm. It was an overwhelming first day home alone, and I found myself very frustrated since Jake was either nursing or crying. I lost it last night and just hoped that we would wake up today and it would be a new day. Sure enough, it has been.

Nick is so amazing, supportive and encouraging. I am enamored by him and how incredible of a father he is to our son. Each day I feel our marriage & love strengthening more than I could have known - it's really breathtaking and powerful.

So, here it is, day two.. and it's going really well. Jake's temperament and activities today seem to be more 'normal' based on what we have experienced since bringing him home. We are BLESSED, I must say. This boy sleeps a good 4 or 5 hour stretch each night before his nighttime feeding. Then, typically goes back down for another 3 or 4 hours before we get up for the day. Nick and I are taking it night by night, but very thankful for each night with some sleep. Maybe this is one of the perks of a baby that was 9 days late and almost 9lbs?! Speaking of, Jake had his 2 week appointment this afternoon and he is as healthy as ever and packing on the pounds. He has gained 1lb and 2 oz above his birth weight and a full inch already. Growing boy!

I am learning that while I may have a whole list of things I'd like to accomplish for the day, I need to just let it all go. If I shower and get dressed (or do this blog post), that's an accomplishment and I am OK with it. I am so thankful I have these months at home with my baby to just feed him, hold him, stare in amazement at him and nap with him. I still can't believe this is our child and he is ours to keep forever.

Here are some more photos from his 2nd week of life. Love him so much.

Faces, Lots of Faces...



 Tummy Time

 Nap Time On Mommy's Chest

 Good Morning

My Loves

 Go Ducks!

 Game Face

Jake's First Week

It's already been 1 week with as the Montgomery family of 3, and an eventful week at that! We had lots of visitors in the hospital and in the first days at home this weekend. Jake is such a good baby and loves being passed around!

Grandma Patti, Grandpa Bill, Uncle Tony, Aunt Christa, Auntie Sarah, Great Aunt Casey, Great Grandma Joan, Great Grandma Tony, Great Aunt Amy, Great Aunt Jodi, Great Uncle Steve, and cousins Grace, Tori & Jack have all come to meet you, sweet boy. Auntie Maggie is on the way this Wednesday before we fend for ourselves next week. Yikes! Let's not think about that....

My mom has been staying with us and it has been amazing! I can't even think of what it is going to be like without her! My dad was able to come back this weekend to meet Jake (since he didn't make his appearance in time last weekend) so it's been really wonderful for Nick and I to have the extra hands & help. So far, the first night at home was rough, but the last 2 nights (and hopefully I am not speaking too soon) have been much better than we expected. In fact, I have had to wake him up to feed in the night while he sleeps soundly. If the wives tales are true, the bigger the baby, the better they sleep, then we are in luck! But we take it night by night. Team Montgomery (Nick & I) are really enjoying learning how to be parents. Our super sweet dog, Lyla, has been a bit jealous of all the attention the baby gets, but also very protective of Jake and I. She sits right at my feet while I nurse and stands guard. I see these two being partners in crime someday. We have bought her tons of special treats and bones as to not to neglect our puppy in this transition.

Here are a couple of pictures from the 1st week, going home from the hospital and Jake's first bath at home today!

Jacob William Montgomery

Oh my goodness... the last 6 days have been the most amazing of our lives. We are so crazy in love with our son, it truly is blowing my mind. I feel like I need to pinch myself every morning that this isn't all a dream. I could sit and stare at Jake for hours on end or watch my love and amazing husband cuddle him and love on him. I have never been so happy. Pure Bliss.

First, the labor & birth story before I forget all the details! 

• Wednesday the 5th of October, I woke up having regular, but not intense contractions every 10 minutes. I called the doctor and they advised me to stay home until I was having trouble breathing thru them and they were closer together. The back pain/labor was bearable, but was causing a lot of discomfort and achiness.
• Thursday the 6th, still laboring, I had a non-stress test to make sure the baby was doing well and to check on my fluid levels. The entire hour I was hooked up to the fetal monitor, I was contracting every 2 - 3 minutes. Jake's heartbeat was rock solid. The doctor made several comments that while I was uncomfortable, I had a VERY happy baby in there that was in no rush to come out. In addition, I had made no further progress with dilation or effacement. Baby's head was still high and she was 'pretty sure' that I would be having a C-section. In fact, I was in early labor and she expected me to be admitted later that day or by Friday for sure. But we set the induction for Sunday night at 8:30pm for my sanity.
• Friday, Saturday and Sunday - let's just say I wasn't a peach to be around. Still uncomfortable, unable to sleep and not wanting to talk to anyone about being pregnant anymore, I was just focused on the induction Sunday night.
• Sunday night at 8:15pm, Nick and I checked into Prentice Women's Hospital at Northwestern. By 8:30pm they had us settled into our birthing & delivery suite with the induction plan mapped out on the white board:
• CRIB
• Break Water
• Pitocin
• Pain Management
• Meet Baby Jacob!

By 9pm, the CRIB was in... and the 6 - 12 hour wait started. The doctors let us know that after 6 hours if I dilated to at least 3 cm, it would come out. If not, then it would stay in for another 6 hours. So we were advised to rest up... I got a little cocktail of some pain medication as the CRIB and contractions were getting much more intense and making it difficult to rest up. As 3am approached, Nick and I didn't think there was a chance that it would have worked, but sure enough, it did! I was at 4.5 cm and we were on our way to meeting our baby boy!

Shortly after, the nurses came in to break my bag of water.... it was an 'aggressive' procedure and resulted in Nick passing out, hitting his back and head! Terrifed me!! But, within 1 minute, 6 more doctors were in the room as the nurses paged - 'dad passed out, dad passed out!' Nick was fine, just got a little light headed with the graphic detail the doctor was providing while attempting to break my water. After his blood sugar was monitored and he was stabilized, the nurses came back for a 2nd attempt, and then a 3rd. Finally, success! Water broken at 5:45am.

They warned me that my contractions would now start to get much more intense and I was hooked up to Pitocin. Around 6:30am, I asked for the epidural... maybe a bit later than I would suggest. The pain was more than I wanted to feel. Shortly thereafter, I was in a much better place. Although no one warned me that the epidural would make my skin itch from the inside out for 2 full days. Small price to pay in my eyes though.

The doctor came in to check my progress around 11am, I had made more progress and was now officially in active labor at 6.5cm and 90% effaced. They expected me to start pushing in the next  couple hours.

As the hours went on, the labor was getting harder and harder. Despite the epidural, I was feeling immense pain in my hips and back although the baby's head was not engaging. I started to lose control of my muscles and was shaking uncontrollably as well as getting sick.... all normal for labor. However, after that 11am check, nothing ever changed. I felt like I was there just to be tortorued and I was never going to meet our son! The doctor then said, if I hadn't made more progress around 4pm, then we would talk about Plan B. Mind you, my doctor wasn't present on Monday, as she had personal matters to tend to, so this was another one in the practice. 4 turned into 5, and 5 turned into 6pm. At 5:59pm the Dr Kelsey came in and let me know that he had spoken to my doctor and we were going to do a C-section, the baby's head was too large and my pelvis was too small. In fact, he was already lodged in there and may have a slight conehead at birth.

I then started to get prepped for the C-section. The shaking became a lot more intense and I was wheeled down to the OR. I mentioned that I am likely to get sick in the OR so they gave me more anti-nausea medication along with everything else. I just closed my eyes as the room full of doctor's introduced themselves to me so I didn't have to see anything.

Once the curtain was up, Nick was brought into the room to sit by my head and hold my hand. I told him, 'I just need to hear the baby cry, I just need to hear him cry.' It was all of 2 -3 minutes and there it was... my sweet boy's cry! I started to cry and Nick and I grinned ear to ear! Jacob William Montgomery born 10/10/11 at 7:25pm 8lbs 12 oz and yes.... a very big head! Our nurse, Sarah, brought Jake's face to mine so I could kiss him on the cheek and finished cleaning him up and handed him over to Nick while they put me back together. And like clockwork, I started to get sick for the next few minutes....

After surgery, I was wheeled into the recovery room with my boys. Amazing. Nick put Jake on my chest and he went straight in for the kill and started to nurse. It was incredible. We were in awe. Our son, our miracle, was finally healthy and here with us. Perfection.

Around 10pm, once the feeling came back into my feet and toes, we were moved into our Maternity Suite where my mom, brother and Christa were able to come up to meet Jacob. I was still pretty out of it, given at this point, I had been up since 6am Sunday morning but I do remember the evening. Around midnight, the 3 of us finally went to sleep for the night... the happiest & most blessed day of our lives October 10, 2011.

No baby yet

As of 2 1/2 hours ago, Emily was 6.5 cm dialated, and 90% effaced. Our boy has a solid heartbeat and is not showing any signs of stress. We should be meeting him sometime before the end of the day!

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. It means a lot.

Induction has officially started...it's baby time!

We got our induction date & time moved up to 8:30pm this evening...thank goodness after 5 days of back labor, regular contractions and intense cramping (but not intense enough for me to be admitted).

My next update with be announcing our babys arrival!! It's just now sinking in that his birth is really happening! Excited doesn't even come close to describing our emotions right now. We are trying to take it all in...every moment. Before I close my eyes for a few hours to rest up, here is the latest as of 11:30pm:

- CRIB is in to help me dilate and will be in for 6-12 hours unless it falls out on it's own.
- My contractions have already intensified A TON and are now every 2-4 minutes.
- Baby Monty is beyond comfortable & happy in Hotel Utero (head down & awesome heartbeat)
- I am getting an extremely low does of Pitocin thru my IV
- I just got a very mild pain medication which feels like I had 1 too many glasses of wine to help take the edge off and get me to sleep for a bit

That's about it! On that note I am going to take a snooze for a few hours!

Much love!!

Baby Monty's mom & dad

T minus 6 days

We are in the final days now....

I went to the doctor on Monday morning, again - no progress. Disappointing, but also expected. I go back in for a non-stress test on Thursday morning prior to my scheduled induction at about 12 midnight Monday. For the few of you that have had babies past their due date, you know this feeling. Its SO hard to watch the due date come and go and wait for the baby to arrive. SO hard, but I have to remind myself that the longer he is inside of me, the stronger and healthier he gets. He can't stay in there forever.

I hope that I don't make it to the induction, but only time will tell. My mom is here with me now, which has been amazing! It's so much better for me not to be alone, trapped with my thoughts while Nick is at work. She has been awesome at distracting me already - workouts, walks, mani, pedi, shopping, dinners, etc. Love you mom! I am so blessed to be so supported by my friends and family. I have never felt so popular on my Facebook page and my phone texts checking on baby action... I promise as soon as we have an update, Nick will send it out! Seems unimaginable at this point.

The Clark family is continuing to make progress. We all believe in Ella and know that no matter what, she is going to come out on top. Steph & Zach are in the NICU with her all day everyday loving on her - exactly where they should be. Awesome parents already! I guess she loved her first bath... a water baby in the making!